Andy's Mind

OK, so I didn’t write a book review on Friday. I don’t think anyone really noticed, but in case someone did there are two reasons behind it: London & an attack of topgearitis.

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The first information about the attacks as an e-mail from a friend, who currently lives and works in London. I quickly checked the BBC’s web page with current information, which had some problems loading – clearly many more people were doing exactly the same. The tragedy is slowly taking shape.

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I was in a big shopping mall today. I went there to get my car washed inside and out in preparation for selling it. As it was cleaned I went inside to somehow spend this hour. I bought something to eat, a portion of plastic mall food served on a paper dish with plastic cutlery on a plastic tray. I sat in a plastic chair by a plastic table and, while eating this stuff and drinking an artificial bubbly drink, I watched people around me.

It’s interesting how much my perception changed since the time when I worked nearby, in the offices of one of the biggest telco companies on the market. Somehow I felt out of place there today, not belonging to the crowd of haves anymore I ventured onto their terrain to watch them. I’m not sure if I want to get back into this circle again, but then I’m not sure I really would like to stay outside. Life seems easier from the inside, even if it’s just an illusion it’s a strong one.

All in all I have a feeling I wasted most of my day. I didn’t work as much as I wanted. I didn’t accomplish even a third of what I wanted to today. I just can’t get a grip strong enough on myself, squeeze myself strong enough, focus on writing documents which I don’t give a damn about, somehow keep my mind from running away to browse the net, discuss photos, write e-mails etc. Internet is a killer for productivity. But I’m addicted, I can’t help it.

Now I know why some people have many blogs. It happened so that this blog has served recently mainly as an outlet for my writing – I posted short or very short stories on it. And I still want to do so, it is fun and in this way many ideas I have for them won’t get lost. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll gather the best of them and publish somewhere else. For now I just enjoy that.

But, from time to time I would like to write something else – like a commentary on something that’s going on in the world that I consider interesting or happen to have opinion about. Or something about my practice and Buddhism. Or a recipe. Or just a few words about my life. For example, today was a great day, 30C/86F, sunny, blue skies – and I enjoyed every single moment of this great, warm weather.

The problem is, some people who may like my writing (hope there are some) might not like my political views or posts about my life. I do understand now why people split their posts into many blogs. This way everyone gets what they want. And I started to wonder, whether I should do the same.

But after some consideration I decided not to. It’s, after all, “Andy’s Mind”, and my mind is not focused on just one thing. Quite the opposite. So, this place will reflect that. Enjoy it as it is!